Father Into thy hands....

So we've had our first big snow here in the Garden City. Started at 11:00 last night. Snow warnings and the whole bit. Woke up to a winter wonderland. At last a true test of the Beetle in crystallized H2O! I've been waiting for this since October. Everyone applauds the handling of the Beetle in snow. Bury them in an avalance, the'll keep ticking. Two feet of snow? Plow drivers got to get to work somehow, righ? And let me tell you it's cold out. Very cold. Woman moved east to escape this kind of mind numbing cold. And the wind, musn't forget the wind! So I suited up and headed to the driveway where Zazu, that's my old car, waited. I'd like to think with a sneer of contempt on his face for the white substance covering our trailer court.
I will say this for the VW Beetle, the air cooled engine does indeed start easy on the first try, even with the car buried in 2.5" of snow. Transmission was a bit stiff, but that's normal when it's cold. Backing up was good, missed the garbage container, and first gear engaged. Just push the gas, right?
All hell broke loose. Want to learn to drive a 1970 Hemi muscle car on ice? Drive a 1970 VW Beetle on hard packed snow. The city and county don't seem to believe in plowing the roads, so it's icebreaking the whole way. And driving a 1970 VW Bug on these roads on "All-Weather" tires is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. Okay, maybe I would. Because it's as close to suicide as I've come. It's great. MASSIVE understeer followed by heart stopping oversteer. I spent the whole morning to a pretty good Jeremy Clarkson impression. POWWWEEERRR! And that's quite a feet with only 53hp.
On TV however it's much easier to drive. I know the theory, I know the idea behind it. Get understeer? Cure it with a dab of throttle, kick the back end out and voila! Not quite. Putting a car sideways on a major road without meaning to is a sure fire way to get the old heart rate up. Timing is what saved me. I never know what kind of traction I'll have, so the bigger the gap, the more room I have for error. It was like being in an episode of the Dukes of Hazzard. Do it on purpose it's a load of fun. Do it accidentally and you're prepared to talk to St. Pete.
I made it home alright, but I need to work on the car. More traction and weight will help. So in the meantime I shall sit right her, watch crappy movies and drink hot chocolate. Because it's not fit for man, nor beast, nor bug out there right now. Stay safe y'all!